Where do I start with this one? I was walking down 34th Street in Manhattan a few weeks ago when I spotted a Grindhouse-style poster of Jenna Jameson, bearing the title “Zombie Strippers.” The fine print revealed Robert Englund as part of the cast, bringing my excitement to an even higher level. Stripper zombies, with one of my favorite faces in horror among the cast? Sold! Knowing nothing about the film, and having never seen a trailer, I was flipping through my On Demand options last night only to find the movie sitting there, the last title under “Z,” ready to be activated at the click of my remote.
The movie is exactly what the title implies – a whole lot of blood and boobs. The director Jay Lee obviously had the desire to see zombies strip, and managed to stretch the idea out across an hour and half. Think From Dusk Til Dawn meets Dawn of The Dead meets your favorite local strip-club. After being thrown into the film all too quickly (10 minutes into it I felt like I had started it in the middle by mistake), we are introduced to our world in the “very near future,” where Bush is still in office for his 4th consecutive term. We’re still at war, with not enough troops to fight, so a virus is created that brings the soldiers back to life after being killed, to fight as zombies. Cool concept, but rather unnecessary. The virus might as well have been dropped into someone’s drink at the strip club and caused an outbreak from there – the source of the virus is really irrelevant here. What we really want to see are the zombie strippers. So basically you can fast forward the first part of the film and get right to it.
After a poor attempt at transition in the plot, an infected member of the army stumbles upon an underground strip joint and manages to infect the strippers, who one by one rise from the dead to not only eat the customers alive, but also to strip for the duration of the movie. Brilliant! Even though I’m not a huge fan, Jenna Jameson looks halfway decent in the film; every stripper has their own personality – you have the down south Bible girl who strips to pay for her Granny’s medical bills, the Gothic chick, the bitchy brunette who hates the blondes for taking all the money, etc. Most of the girls end up turning into zombies, and we are left with a total bloodbath as a result.
Englund’s role in the film as the club owner is decent (although he can never really top the role of Freddy that we all love him for), and allowed for a few laughs (especially when he sprays disinfectant on the strippers every time they walk by). The real strength of the film is the fact that Lee obviously didn’t give a shit about storyline here – he just wanted an abundance of nudity and gore, which is always a plus to every splatter/horror fan. The effects are pretty awesome, especially when the Gothic stripper tells some guy “I like your tongue” and then proceeds to tear his entire face in half by the mouth, just to eat out his tongue. The movie is advertised as a “horror comedy,” and it certainly delivers both.
After all the movie reviews I've done for this blog, I realized I should be rating them as well. Moving forward, I will rate the films on a 1 to 5 basis, 5 toes being the best and 1 toe being God-awful. Keep in mind that when reviewing horror, God-awful might also imply really awesome. With that said, I give Zombie Strippers 4 toes – only reason I didn’t give it 5 was because there’s no real storyline, and creativity is key in my opinion. However, the director did do something here that we rarely get to see – just downright bloody sexy fun without all the BS! Well done, Jay Lee.